Monday, September 26, 2011

"Lorelei and the Sirens" by Aaronni Miller

From Goodreads: "Lorelei Twila Adams is from the McAdams line of sirens in Ireland and as the second generation in America Lorelei must never fall in love, never let her beauty mark burn (a means of surveillance), and she must practice perfect restraint at all times; to her great chagrin. Lorelei abhors the stifling gaze of her over-protective mother and gets a breath of fresh air when Ellis Latif McMillan, the new boy, shows up at Harry P. Strange High School. With hypnotic, crystal-blue eyes Lorelei stumbles into talking to Ellis at school, trips when he writes a poem about her, and falls in love with him when she sneaks out to meet him late one night, but her days are numbered soon after. Lorelei's family finds out about Ellis and her; they call for her immediate trial to determine her guilt. Lorelei runs away with Ellis; she knows the outcome if her family finds her. Lorelei's first taste of love will either set her free from the lies of her family or it will kill her and the boy she loves."

I rarely ever comment on spelling and grammar in a book- I understand that a few spelling mistakes or a missed comma here or there is bound to occur in a book, from books published by some of the largest publishers, to self published books. However, I must comment on the spelling and grammar in this book- frankly speaking, it is quite terrible. BUT what I think is perhaps the most frustrating thing about the editing job is that all of the corrections can be easily fixed/ all of the mistakes were glaringly obvious (in fact, I am quite surprised that the authors typing program didn't pick up the spelling mistakes, underlining everything with the little red squiggly line). 

Lorelei, the main character, shoked a lot- seriously, not once in the 330 page book did the author correctly write "shook"- and she used it A LOT, at least 50 times I think- ie. "I ran the past week through my head and shoke my head no" (pg. 12). And not only was shook misspelled through the book, but words such as "shocked" were as well, "I said as I pulled my books into my sternum and tried to move around him; he blocked my escape with a fast hand. I almost laughed as I stared at him, but I was shoke as his baking hotness radiated towards me" (pg. 83). Furthermore, there were countless times that the author meant to say "he" but said "she" (and vice versa) and where a character would have a conversation with themselves (ie. Lorelei and Ellis would be having a conversation and the author would incorrectly use one of the characters names, they would reply to one of their own responses). Also, there were numerous times that the same line was essentially written, one right after another (almost as if the author had thought of a better way of writing something, but forgot to delete the original line)- for instance, Lorelei was constantly licking her lips.

Spelling and grammar aside, I did think that overall the premise of the story was quite interesting, though very repetitive for a good three-quarters of the book- Lorelei and her sisters woke up, drove to school in their car, walked the hallways of school (not talking to anyone, aside from themselves), sat at a cafeteria table (not talking to anyone, aside from themselves), got in their car and drove home, got home and was lectured by one of their mothers, got ready for bed (dressed themselves in all silk for the night), went to bed, woke up, drove to school in their car, walked the hallways of school... Well, you get the idea. The end of the book did become far more exciting than the beginning/ middle of the book (albeit a bit too "Twilighty" for me), but it almost felt like a 'little too late'.

All in all, I think that if this book were to receive a thorough editing job (both in spelling/ grammar and in cutting down some of its repetitiveness) the author could very well have a masterpiece on her hands- but until that time comes, I don't believe I will be reading the next book in the series.

Rating: 5.5/10

I received this book from the author to read and honestly review. I was not compensated in any way for said review.

1 comment:

  1. Perhaps a few beta readers are also in order to help with the repetitiveness. Sorry that this one didn't seem to work for you however, hopefully this author will take your advice and rock it! :)


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