Guest Post: Author Lori Strongin

Lori's debut "Bite Me: Or the Obvious Title for a Novel About a Vampire and a Werewolf" releases tomorrow and she was kind enough to drop by the blog to tell us a bit about her writing process and inspiration! 

How it All Began

The quintessential author question, yes?  “How did you become an author?”

My answer: I didn’t ‘become’ an author.  I kinda always was one.

To backtrack: A favorite family (otherwise read as “embarrassing”) story is how I’d line up my stuffed animals in my crib and babble at them for a good hour before demanding my parents release me from my baby cage.  The popular opinion is that I was telling them stories. 

Fast forward a few years to when my absolute favorite book in the world was Peter and Wendy.  There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that one night, Peter Pan and Tinkerbell were going to fly through my window and whisk me off to adventure in Neverland.  I’d stay awake for hours, again more telling stories to my stuffed animals and, this time, certain that Peter was listening just outside my window.  And if I could just manage to find the perfect story, then he’d reward me with a healthy dose of faith, trust, and pixie dust.

Sadly, it hasn’t happened yet.  I still remain optimistic it will one day.  That, or I’ll finally get my Hogwarts letter.

So, basically, I’ve always been telling stories.  My first short story was scribbled in an old notebook of my mother’s and was about a girl coping with her twin’s death.  (Yup, I liked my body counts, even back then.)  My first publication was in my elementary school paper with a freeform poem I’d written during English class.  The writing/comprehension part of the SATs was a breeze for me (and thank goodness for that, to help offset my atrocious math scores).  And I don’t think it surprised anyone when I picked English-Creative Writing as my major in college.

Though, I will say I only managed to begin the transition from writer to author after college when I joined my first writers group and discovered that everything I learned in the classroom for the last four years meant bupkis in real life.  College didn’t prepare me for the realities of editing an entire novel, or how to write a query letter and synopsis (which took me longer to get right than writing the entire first draft), or what the bitter sting of rejection felt like.  And this is where the transition began.  Rejection sucks.  So can editing when you get stuck.  But if you really want it, you’ll put the work in.  This is where it becomes less about telling a story, and more about telling that story in the best way you possibly can.

From Goodreads: "This summer at Hedgehill University: take one totally screwed werewolf, a vegetarian vampire, and the psycho who wants to kill them both.

Surfer-boy werewolf Talbot Osbourne is under pressure to get a summer job, find an apartment, and make up for the classes he failed last semester. The fur will fly when Talbot is forced to partner with Julian St. George on a class assignment. Unfortunately, the vegetarian vampire brings more than just a set of fangs to the table when a stalker takes special interest in the unlikely duo.

Time is running out for the ParaNorms of New York as they’re picked off, one by one. Talbot and Julian will have to work together catch the ‘Slayer’ before the psycho finds them. If they don’t kill each other first, that is.

Throw in a shapeshifter with ferret envy, a wizard who makes people’s clothes disappear, and an apartment with cannibalistic furniture and zombie squirrels, and these boys are in for the summer of their lives. Or deaths." 

Author Lori T. Strongin has been lucky enough to study under many wonderful writing mentors and is passionate about giving some of that knowledge back to other writers. 

A writer of high fantasy, urban fantasy, sci-fi, horror, romance, and commercial fiction, Lori is knowledgeable about the ins and outs of publishing industry and has helped many writers on their paths to publication. 

Former conference director of the Florida Writers Association, Lori currently works at Walt Disney World and is an English/Creative Writing honors graduate of the University of Colorado at Boulder. Look for her work in publications such as Tip o’ the Tongue, The Florida Writer, Literary Liftoff, Forbidden Speculation, Tales of the Talisman, Renard’s Menagerie, Shadows of the Emerald City, Encounters, Emerald Tales, and most recently in Aiofe’s Kiss. Her work also appeared in the Predators and Editors fan favorite anthology, Shadows of the Emerald City.

"Blood Red Road" by Moira Young

From Goodreads: "Saba has spent her whole life in Silverlake, a dried-up wasteland ravaged by constant sandstorms. The Wrecker civilization has long been destroyed, leaving only landfills for Saba and her family to scavenge from. That's fine by her, as long as her beloved twin brother Lugh is around. But when a monster sandstorm arrives, along with four cloaked horsemen, Saba's world is shattered. Lugh is captured, and Saba embarks on an epic quest to get him back. 

Suddenly thrown into the lawless, ugly reality of the world outside of desolate Silverlake, Saba is lost without Lugh to guide her. So perhaps the most surprising thing of all is what Saba learns about herself: she's a fierce fighter, an unbeatable survivor, and a cunning opponent. And she has the power to take down a corrupt society from the inside. Teamed up with a handsome daredevil named Jack and a gang of girl revolutionaries called the Free Hawks, Saba stages a showdown that will change the course of her own civilization. 

Blood Red Road has a searing pace, a poetically minimal writing style, violent action, and an epic love story. Moira Young is one of the most promising and startling new voices in teen fiction."

Much like the majority of books I buy nowadays I bought this book solely based upon recommendations and reviews I had read, reviews written by fellow book bloggers- I admittedly didn't know much about it when buying it aside from the fact that it was overall extremely well received (dare I say that there was "hype" surrounding it), that the film rights to this book were optioned by Ridley Scott right from the get-go and that it was written in dialect. While I did enjoy this book, I must admit that I didn't enjoy it as much as others have (I have read countless reviews on Goodreads where people have stated things along the lines of "This is the best book that I have ever read" or "This book is the best of 2011"- I wouldn't categorize it as such-but then again, the last 10 or so books I have read have been dystopians/ post-apocalyptic books and therefore I can't help myself from ranking and comparing them/ I can't help myself from almost feeling burnt out with the genres), but I didn't dislike it either (it fits dead center in the YA book spectrum IMO).

I think that my largest complaint with this book is that at times it seemed that the sole reason it had been written was so that it could become a movie-I found the descriptions of the characters, setting, and the likes of to be quite lacking (I am under the opinion that this was done so that it could easily be converted into a script, with little editing needed). Take Lugh, for instance, Saba makes him out to be such an amazing person (I believe that she refers to him as being "the sun" on multiple occasions) and from what we saw of him, I must admit that I wasn't impressed- if anything Saba is the sun because the story revolves around her and she is truly the bright point of this book (despite being "prickly" on occasion).

As for the plot? Well, I just found it to be too simplistic and formalistic- I just felt like it only ever went in one direction (ie. Plot Point A> Plot Point B> Plot Point C> Plot Point D, sometimes its nice when things are shaken up, ie. Plot Point A> Plot Point B> Plot Point D> Plot Point C- at times it almost seemed that the plot was working too well in the characters favour).

I personally didn't have a problem with this book being written in dialect, but that being said, I don't think that it added to the book whatsoever (as opposed to something like the crossed out words in Tahereh Mafi's "Shatter Me").

I think that the best part of this book (aside from the ever-prickly Saba and the swoon-worthy Jack) was the cage-fighting (I can't believe that I just wrote that). I have never encountered a YA book that involves cage-fighting before and let me tell you, more YA books need to incorporate this into them! Seriously, as soon as a female YA character begins cage fighting her badassness goes through the roof.

All in all, despite my complaints I did really enjoy this book and I am very much looking forward to the next book in this series. I highly recommend this book to those who are looking for a different YA book, where the lead female is super kickass and where the main focus of the storyline is not romance.

Rating: 8/10

In My Mailbox: The Dystopian Edition Part 2

In My Mailbox is a weekly post hosted by Kirsti at The Story Siren as a chance to share the books we've bought or received over the past week.
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***Sorry for the cruddy video- darn webcam/ being technologically challenged!***

Bought
"Dearly, Departed" by Lia Habel

Won
"Twenty-Eight and a Half Wishes" by Denise Grover Swank (Thanks Denise!)
"Here" by Denise Grover Swank

For Review 
"The Selection" by Kiera Cass (Thanks HarperCollins Canada and Shannon!)
"Article 5" by Kristen Simmons (Thanks Raincoast Books and Crystal!)

Traded (Thanks to Ashley over at Book Labyrinth)
"City of Bones" by Cassandra Clare
"Shiver" by Maggie Stiefvater
"Cinder" by Marissa Meyer
"Tempest" by Julie Cross
"The Future of Us" by Jay Asher & Carolyn Mackler
"Embrace" by Jessica Shirvington
"Unbreakable Love" by Angela Carling
"Anew" by Chelsea Fine
"The Water Wars" by Cameron Stracher

On My Wishlist

 

On My Wishlist is a great event that Book Chick City runs every Saturday. It's where you list all of the books that you desperately want but haven't actually bought yet. They can be old, new or forthcoming. I thought that this was a fantabulous idea so I thought I would join in!
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"Bloodrose" by Andrea Cremer 

From Goodreads: "The Ultimate Sacrifice.

Calla has always welcomed war. But now that the final battle is upon her, there’s more at stake than fighting. There’s saving Ren, even if it incurs Shay’s wrath. There’s keeping Ansel safe, even if he’s been branded a traitor. There’s proving herself as the pack’s alpha, facing unnamable horrors, and ridding the world of the Keepers’ magic once and for all. And then there’s deciding what to do when the war ends. If Calla makes it out alive, that is.

In the final installment of the Nightshade trilogy, New York Times bestselling author Andrea Cremer creates a novel with twists and turns that will keep you on the edge of your seat until its final pages. A dynamic end to this breathtaking trilogy."

"Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick" by Joe Schreiber

From Goodreads: "Perry Stormaire is a normal high school senior– he is busy applying to college and rehearsing with his band –until he agrees to go to the prom with the Lithuanian exchange student who is staying with his family. It turns out that Gobi Zaksauskas is not the mousy teenager that she seems but rather an attractive, confident trained assassin. Instead of going to the prom, Perry finds himself on a wild ride through the streets of New York City as Gobi commandeers the Jaguar his father lent him for the prom in order to take out her targets. Perry learns a lot about himself – and ends up with some amazing material for his college application essays."

While this is a departure from what I usually read (a fast paced action and adventure tale rather than a paranormal romance) I did still very much enjoy it. It becomes evident while reading this book that Joe does not dilly-dally in his writing- that everything is concise and to the point. What does this mean? In doing so this makes the book a true page turner- a book that you will not put down until you are finished and a book that will take you a mere hour or so to get through. 

I don't often read books where the main character is male the book is told from the male characters point of view and I am left feeling like I have really missed out because so- it's extremely interesting and entertaining to read of a perspective different from my own. Perry was such a fun character to read about- being so dorky and awkward in almost every situation he was thrown into and I very much enjoyed seeing him grow and develop as the book progressed (this book is the epitome of a "coming of age" book).

All in all, I feel that this book is very much one of those few books that can get non-readers to read (you know who I am talking about, your twelve to sixteen year old son, nephew, or next door neighbor who refuses to read, choosing instead to play some shoot 'em up video game). Furthermore, I am excited by the fact that the end of this book was open-ended, which perchance means that we will see more of Perry and another zany adventure in a future book.

Rating: 7.5/10

I received this book from the publisher to read and honestly review. I was not compensated in any way for said review.

Waiting on Wednesday

"Waiting On" Wednesday is a weekly event, hosted over at Breaking the Spine, that spotlights upcoming releases that we're eagerly anticipating...
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Title: "The Vindico"
Author: Wesley King
Release Date: June 14, 2012

From Goodreads: "Led by the sinister Baron, the Vindico are a group of super villains who have been fighting against the League of Heroes for as long as they can remember. The Vindico kidnap a group of teenagers and train them to be the next generation. Mysteriously arriving at the Baron’s mansion together, James, Lana, Hayden, Emily and Sam are forced to train with their mentors and given powers beyond their wildest dreams.

While struggling to uncover the motives of this evil group, the teens learn to trust each other and even form friendships. They plan to rebel against their mentors as soon as they are deemed ready to fight against the League of Heroes, but then they learn things may not be as cut-and-dry as they seem: both in their new roles and in their outside lives."

"Sulfur" by Arreana

From Goodreads: "The Conclusion to "Farro"

Khensa must redeem herself for the hardships she has brought upon her people. She knows what she must do. She will end the revolution she helped to create. No more running.

Bomani will never be king if he can’t return Waset to order. Without food, without wheat, the city will fall to pieces and he will be king of nothing but rubble and ashes. To get it back, he’ll follow the thieves to the ends of the world.

To the north, over the mountains and into the hidden kingdom beyond. Through a world of steam and smog and rain, and from there into darkness they’ll delve. Death will be their final obstacle, and His Eaters their final judges on a quest that might break them both." 

This book picks up exactly where "Farro" ends off and while it has been a number of months (and I have read dozens of books) since I last read "Farro" I was able to quickly jump into the world that Arreana had created. Like its predecessor (if not more than its predecessor) this book was the epitome of a page-turner due to a combination of strong heroine, swoon-worthy hero, budding romance, fast paced plot, and unique storyline. I must admit that I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning reading this- something that I am not oft to do (therefore I suggest that you plan accordingly when you pick up this book to read- once you start reading it you will neglect everything in order to finish it).

Like with "Farro", I loved that the secondary characters played quite a large role in this book and I loved the introduction of new characters, for instance Ioulia (though I admit that I did more so enjoy when Khensa and Bomani were on their own because I was *hoping* that one of them would finally act upon their feelings for the another). Furthermore, I also enjoyed how much the characters grew between the two novels.

The ending of this book (and this series) is by far one of the most satisfying I have ever read- it exceeded my expectations by tenfold. Though I must admit that I did find the ending to be quite heartbreaking for the reason that this is the last book in this series- I HATE the idea of not seeing Khensa and Bomani bickering back and forth, Jarai constantly hanging onto Khensa's apron strings, and Shana and Khensa laughing until they cry (or crying until they laugh) anymore. 

All in all, I highly recommend this book to fans of Tamora Pierce (especially fans of "Trickster's Choice" and "Trickster's Queen"). Arreana is by far one of the most talented storytellers I have ever had the pleasure of reading and I cannot wait to see what she has in store for us next!

Rating: 5/5

I received this book from the author to read and review. I was not compensated in any way for said review.

On My Wishlist

 

On My Wishlist is a great event that Book Chick City runs every Saturday. It's where you list all of the books that you desperately want but haven't actually bought yet. They can be old, new or forthcoming. I thought that this was a fantabulous idea so I thought I would join in!
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"Endure" by Carrie Jones 

From Goodreads: "It’s all-out war (and no-holds-barred romance) in the climactic conclusion to Carrie Jones’s bestselling series.

Zara is at the center of an impending apocalypse. True, she’s successfully rescued Nick from Valhalla, but it simply isn’t enough. Evil pixies are ravaging Bedford, and they need much more than one great warrior; they need an army. Zara isn’t sure what her role is anymore. She’s not just fighting for her friends; she’s also a pixie queen. And to align her team of pixies with the humans she loves will be one of her greatest battles yet. Especially since she can’t even reconcile her growing feelings for her pixie king . . .

Unexpected turns, surprising revelations, and one utterly satisfying romantic finale make Endure a thrilling end to this series of bestsellers."

"Wither" by Lauren DeStefano

From Goodreads: "Obviously, something went terribly wrong. Genetic mutations have festered, reducing human longevity to twenty-five, even less for most women. To prevent extinction, young girls are kidnapped, mated in polygamous marriages with men eager to procreate. Sixteen-year-old Rhine Ellery, a recent victim of this breeding farm mentality, has vowed to break loose from its fetters; but finding allies and a safe way out is a challenge she can only hope she will survive. A dystopian fantasy series starter with wings." 

While I very much enjoyed this book I just feel like something is missing- something that I can't entirely put my finger on I think that I finally figured it out after contemplating it for a few days- I think that what is missing in this book is Gabriel being swoon-worthy. By now I am sure that the vast majority of you are familiar with the fact that I like my book boys to be swoon-worthy (what makes a character swoon-worthy? They are selfless beyond belief, they aren't afraid to speak their mind- oftentimes they are snarky or sarcastic, they are the first to admit that they aren't perfect- typically they are broken to some degree, they look like Jace Wayland- or some variation of Jace, just kidding, kinda... and the likes of) and frankly speaking, I don't find Gabriel to be all that swoon-worthy(with his timidness, his childlike innocence and his perfectly parted hair)- in fact, I don't find that he has much of a personality at all. 

What also irked me a bit in this book was Rhine and Gabriel's relationship overall- I felt like Rhine made a lot of assumptions regarding it (ie. that they even had a relationship- never having discussed it before, only briefly seeing one another, being separated for weeks, upwards of a month, and the likes of). Also, in my opinion, she didn't give him an option of whether or not to tun away- she just assumed he would want to run away and she basically forced him to do so (I think that she was a bit selfish in doing so, not taking into consideration how scary the world outside of the manor would be for him, him not having left the property for essentially half of his life).

That being said, I did vastly enjoy the other characters in the book- Jenna, Cecily, and Linden. I especially enjoyed the relationship that the three sisterwives developed. The moments when the girls were able to communicate through a raise of an eyebrow or a mere lift of the corner of their mouth made the book for me (especially the scene when the three girls work together to manipulate Linden into giving them what they want). As for Linden? I didn't find him to be a horrible person whatsoever (I am very much one of those people who question Rhine's choice to runaway from the home that Linden provided her- a luxurious and safe home versus the real world which was extremely dangerous and scary).

All in all, despite my complaints I did quite enjoy this book. I think that Lauren was able to create a dystopian world unlike any other world currently existing in the world of YA. Furthermore, it becomes apparent that Lauren's ability/ talent to weave a haunting book- in its plot, characters, and overall feel- is also quite unlike any other YA author I have happened across before. I am quite looking forward to what "Fever", the next book in this series, has in store for us!

Rating: 8/10

Waiting on Wednesday

"Waiting On" Wednesday is a weekly event, hosted over at Breaking the Spine, that spotlights upcoming releases that we're eagerly anticipating...
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Title: "The Treachery of Beautiful Things"
Author: Ruth Frances Long
Release Date: August 16, 2012

From Goodreads: "The trees swallowed her brother whole. And Jenny was there to see it. Years later, when she returns to the woods where Tom was taken to say good-bye at last, she finds herself lured into a world where stunning beauty masks the most treacherous of evils, and strange and dangerous creatures await—creatures who seem to consider her the threat. Among them is Jack, mercurial and magnetic, with allegiances that shift as much as his moods. Determined to find her brother, with or without Jack’s help, Jenny struggles to navigate a faerie world where nothing is what it seems, no one is who they say, and she’s faced with a choice between salvation or sacrifice—and not just her own."

"Half-Blood" by Jennifer L. Armentrout

From Goodreads: "The Hematoi descend from the unions of gods and mortals, and the children of two Hematoi-pure-bloods-have godlike powers. Children of Hematoi and mortals-well, not so much. Half-bloods only have two options: become trained Sentinels who hunt and kill daimons or become servants in the homes of the pures.Seventeen-year-old Alexandria would rather risk her life fighting than waste it scrubbing toilets, but she may end up slumming it anyway. There are several rules that students at the Covenant must follow. Alex has problems with them all, but especially rule #1:Relationships between pures and halfs are forbidden.Unfortunately, she's crushing hard on the totally hot pure-blood Aiden. But falling for Aiden isn't her biggest problem--staying alive long enough to graduate the Covenant and become a Sentinel is. If she fails in her duty, she faces a future worse than death or slavery: being turned into a daimon, and being hunted by Aiden. And that would kind of suck."

After reading "Obsidian" and loving almost everything about it I had no qualms about purchasing this book, the first book in Jennifer L. Armentrout's "Covenant" series (even after reading multiple reviews prior to purchasing this book that stated that it was quite similar to Richelle Mead's "Vampire Academy" series). While admittedly the similarities between the two books are quite uncanny (ie. both Rose and Alex fall for someone who is off-limits to them specifically an authority figure, both Rose and Alex set out to kill the person that they love most in the world, the elitist society developed within the book, the "Pures" needing protection, protection which they receive from the half-bloods, the "Hematoi", etc.), this book was still quite enjoyable and one that I am sure that I will read time and time again.

I think that one of the main reasons why this book is successful is because of the (potential) romantic relationships which are contained within it- both of Alex's romantic options, Seth and Aiden, possess amazing qualities and are frankly likeable- Seth more so being the "bad boy" who will sweep you off of your feet with his snarky, though bluntly honest, attitude and Aiden being the epitome of "reliable-all-American-boy-next-door". I literally cannot choose one boy over the other -versus a book series like "Vampire Academy" where, in my opinion, one male character (Dimitri), shines much more brightly (and is so much larger than life) than the other male character (Adrian), and therefore there is essentially no competition- you automatically know who the female character is going to end up with. Another reason why this book is so successful is because of Alex- she is by far one of the most kickass, snarky, selfless, sarcastic and sassy females YA characters I have ever had the pleasure of reading before.

I think that my largest complaint about this book is that I wish that the first half of the book was more like the second half of the book- extremely captivating with all of the Apollyon / Hematoi talk, fast-paced, and unlike any book in the world of YA at the moment. That being said, I do highly recommend this book- I personally cannot wait to read the next book in the series, "Pure". 

Rating: 4/5

Cover Reveal: "Bite Me" by Lori Strongin

I am excited to share with you the cover of Lori Strongin's latest release "Bite Me"! I will reading and reviewing this shortly- so stay tuned!

“Talbot blamed his mother for the fact he’d spent most of the summer impersonating a nun.”  

So begins Bite Me, a humorous urban fantasy YA novel set at Hedgehill University for Paranormal Creatures. 

In this Animal House meets Christopher Moore-esque story, freshman Talbot Osbourne is under pressure to find a summer job, an affordable apartment, and to not flunk out; otherwise he’ll face the wrath of his werewolf clan back home.  Buddhist, vegetarian vampire Julian St. George has problems, too, but his are more of the being-stalked-by-a-psychotic-slayer type.  After he ousts the intruder from his home, Julian figures that’s the last of that. 

Wrong. 

Talbot and Julian are forced to partner on a class assignment to study humans in their natural habitat.  That is, a strip club.  But while these two co-eds try to live their para-normal lives and pass their classes, the slayer targets both the university and the club, taking out students with any kind of supernatural abilities.  After Julian’s home is destroyed and he’s nearly killed, the vampire and werewolf form an unlikely—and probably unholy—duo to catch the stalker before the psycho slays them.  If they don’t kill each other first, that is. 

Between surviving an apartment with cannibalistic furniture, zombie squirrels, and a strip club where the drinks are scarier than the suspects, Talbot and Julian struggle to catch up to the slayer, who always seems one stake ahead of them. 

Throw in a shapeshifter with ferret envy, a nymphomaniac wizard who makes people’s clothes disappear, and the ghost of a five-year-old with the potty mouth of a sailor, and these boys are in for the summer of their lives.  Or deaths." 

You can find out more about Lori and "Bite Me" HERE.

In My Mailbox: The Dystopian Edition

In My Mailbox is a weekly post hosted by Kirsti at The Story Siren as a chance to share the books we've bought or received over the past week.
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Bought
"Blood Red Road" by Moira Young
"The Scorpio Races" by Maggie Stiefvater

Won
"Chosen" by Denise Grover Swank (Thanks Denise!)
"Hunted" by Denise Grover Swank (Thanks Denise!)

What did you get in your mailbox?

On My Wishlist

 

On My Wishlist is a great event that Book Chick City runs every Saturday. It's where you list all of the books that you desperately want but haven't actually bought yet. They can be old, new or forthcoming. I thought that this was a fantabulous idea so I thought I would join in!
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"The Childe" by C.A. Kunz 

From Goodreads: "Cat Colvin
Average Teenager?
Or Something Else Entirely?

Cat Colvin is pretty much your typical run-of-the-mill teenager. Sure, she’s taller than most girls, has a mane of fiery red hair that’s impossible to tame, is left-handed, and her eyes are two different colors, but that’s where the differences end . . . unless you include the minor detail of her slow transformation into a Childe.

High school can definitely be challenging, and for Cat it’s no different. This is especially true when she’s faced with the daunting task of trying to hide her budding Childe traits as they begin to reveal themselves at the most inopportune times. To make matters worse, her family is oddly dead set against Ryan, the boy she grows to like. But everyone has their secrets: is Ryan really what he seems to be, and what is Cat’s family not telling her?

The Childe is the first book in this coming-of-age fantasy series which follows Cat's life through the twists and turns toward finding out whom and what she really is. Come and take the plunge with Cat into a world filled with mystery, biting humor, and the paranormal."

"Divergent" by Veronica Roth

From Goodreads: "In Beatrice Prior's dystopian Chicago, society is divided into five factions, each dedicated to the cultivation of a particular virtue—Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). On an appointed day of every year, all sixteen-year-olds must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Beatrice, the decision is between staying with her family and being who she really is—she can't have both. So she makes a choice that surprises everyone, including herself.
During the highly competitive initiation that follows, Beatrice renames herself Tris and struggles to determine who her friends really are—and where, exactly, a romance with a sometimes fascinating, sometimes infuriating boy fits into the life she's chosen. But Tris also has a secret, one she's kept hidden from everyone because she's been warned it can mean death. And as she discovers a growing conflict that threatens to unravel her seemingly perfect society, she also learns that her secret might help her save those she loves… or it might destroy her.

Debut author Veronica Roth bursts onto the literary scene with the first book in the Divergent series—dystopian thrillers filled with electrifying decisions, heartbreaking betrayals, stunning consequences, and unexpected romance."

I am very much the sort of person who rushes out and buys a book on its release day and doesn't do anything on a book's release date besides read it from front cover to back cover (I admit, I will neglect everything else while reading the book- whether it be school and homework, eating, or just the daily-ins-and-outs like chores), but for some reason after purchasing this book (admittedly not on the release day, just a few weeks after it was released) I let it sit around for six months before deciding to pick it up- despite everyone around me telling me that I HAD TO READ IT. I think that there were numerous reasons why I took me so long- one reason being because there were just so many other dystopian options at the time to read (my ARC of "Shatter Me", "XVI", "Matched", "Delirium", etc.), another reason was because I couldn't commit to reading such a large book (I mean, this baby is almost 500 pages and inches thicker than most other YA books.) 

And now after finishing it (a mere seven or so hours after I started it), all I can do is shake my head at my stupidity (and kick myself hard) for having waited so long to have read this. This book completely exceeded my expectations (scratch that, admittedly I didn't have really expectations for it- I didn't even know what it was about when I bought it, I have developed this really bad habit of buying books without reading the cover flaps/ synopsis' of the books, I buy them solely because other book bloggers/ reviews tell me to). This book and it has honest-to-goodness made me change my opinion about how I feel about the large majority of YA books that were released in 2011 (mainly that they are lacking- that they could all use characters like Tris and Four). 

Tris and Four? Ugh- I don't even know what to say about them, aside from the fact that they are EXPLOSIVE TOGETHER (seriously, move aside Jace/ Clary and Juliette/ Adam)- I am convinced that they can take over the world (which I suppose is what they are trying to accomplish). Both of them were so complex, dynamic, and kickass. What I think I love most about them is that they truly lend strength to one another- they help one another to live up to their full potential, one never holds the other back (and I think that it is awesome that Tris, who is super short and scrawny, is willing to kick someone's ass, someone who is much larger than her, for Four, who doesn't really need her to being the warrior god that he is, but who still appreciates the sentiment). 

All in all, as becomes evident, I cannot say enough good things about this book. If you have yet to read it I highly recommend that you do so (please, please, PLEASE do not be like me and wait forever to do so).

Rating: 10/10

"Drink Deep" by Chloe Neill

From Goodreads: "Clouds are brewing over Cadogan House, and recently turned vampire Merit can't tell if this is the darkness before the dawn or the calm before the storm. With the city itself in turmoil over paranormals and the state threatening to pass a paranormal registration act, times haven't been this precarious for vampires since they came out of the closet. If only they could lay low for a bit, and let the mortals calm down.

That's when the waters of Lake Michigan suddenly turn pitch black-and things really start getting ugly.

Chicago's mayor insists it's nothing to worry about, but Merit knows only the darkest magic could have woven a spell powerful enough to change the very fabric of nature. She'll have to turn to friends old and new to find out who's behind this, and stop them before it's too late for vampires and humans alike."

While I was ecstatic with the outcome of this book (specifically the last ten pages or so- if you have read my reviews of the first four books in this series I think that you know what I am referring to), I must admit that I was a bit disappointed with the book overall.

The first thing about the book that irked me was the paranormal element that was introduced in this book that, in my opinion, came out of the left field. While it is always nice for a book to be unique and all, I just felt that this new paranormal element doesn't mesh all that well with the paranormal elements found in the earlier books and was almost too "out there" (I mean- remember the good ol'days when Merit's biggest concern was ensuring that the vamps/ shifters didn't rip one another's heads off?) and frankly, I found the paranormal element in this book to not have been very well-explained/ was delivered to us in an "information dump" sort of way (with it being explained in a rush, in a few pages at most). 

I was also somewhat disappointed by this book because I found the plot to be too formulaic- when Plan A didn't work for Merit she would then turn to Plan B, when that, too, failed, she would then turn to Plan C- while never getting dismayed by her number of failures/ lack of progress. And I was disappointed with Jonah- he didn't make an impact upon me whatsoever in the earlier books (frankly, I am surprised that I didn't have to pick up my copy of the book to remind myself of his name while writing this review) and as such, I didn't enjoy how much of this book was devoted to him (Then again, I am a diehard Ethan fan, so that might explain my dislike of him). 

That being said, while I was disappointed by the paranormal elements of this story- I was not disappointed by how a character, a character that we have come to know and love over the last four years, became intertwined with that element- I thought that that aspect of this book was totally unexpected and quite thrilling (I must admit that sometimes I get sick of the "good guy" always winning, sometimes its nice to see the good guy loose or turn to the dark side).

All in all, while I was a bit disappointed by this book I am still extremely excited to read the next book in the series, "Biting Cold"- I hope that it will have the same sort of feel as the earlier books (that I LOVE) did.

Rating: 7/10

Updates

Hey y'all! I am finally back from my 'hiatus' (admittedly it wasn't much of a hiatus because Tessa made it to the FINALS of the YA Sisterhood Heroine Tournament and I participated in the Top 10 of 2011 blog event hosted by Rachel from Fiktshun, Patricia and Jamie from Two Chicks on Books, Jessica from Confessions of a Bookaholic, and Lisa from A Life Bound By Books, but it was fun nonetheless).

And speaking of the YA Sisterhood Heroine Tournament, I have a whole heck of a lot of people to thank. First I have to thank all of my old followers- I cannot tell you how much I appreciate y'all sticking around with me despite the sheer number of #TeamTessa tweets and posts that I have sent out over the last month or so. I also have to thank my new followers- thanks to y'all I have broken 400 followers! I also have to thank the wonderful ladies of YA Sisterhood (Amy especially)- I cannot wrap my head around how much time and effort goes into organizing something like the Heroine Tournament and as I said in my final Team Tessa post- the ladies of  YA Sisterhood are the true heroines! I also have to thank Rachel over at Fiktshun for giving on a ton of pointers about how the tournament worked/ giving me points to include in my Tessa post. I also have to thank everyone who supported Tessa via Twitter (@CaitLomas, @chel_c_cam, and @Emberchyld especially). I also have to thank Cassie Clare herself for being so active in the competition and Valerie from Stuck in book and Amanda from Letters Inside Out for being members of #TeamCassie alongside myself. And last but not least I have to thank everyone who voted for Tessa! I was floored by the amount of support she received (I cannot tell you how much I appreciated it!).

Tomorrow I will be resuming posting reviews as per usual and participating my usual memes, but... For the next couple of days (week at most) I will not be able to communicate all that much on Twitter and Facebook (the internet is not yet connected in our new house and I am sure that y'all know how working with internet/ phone/ satellite companies work, they tell you they will show up sometime in the next two weeks between 7am and 7pm ;) ).

I hope that y'all had a great holiday and I am super excited to be back!

Vote Tessa: YA Sisterhood Heroine Tournament FINAL!

Hey y'all! My name is Avery I review primarily YA paranormal books at my blog Avery's Book Nook. I have been a long time stalker follower of YA Sisterhood and their tournaments so it should come as no surprise that I am super excited to be advocating Tessa from Cassie Clare's Infernal Devices series! You can follow me during the tournament at:

BLOG/ TWITTER/ FACEBOOK

About Her:

Tessa Gray, a sixteen year old American is sent to live with her brother in England after her guardian, her Aunt Harriet, passes away (both of Tessa's parents passed away when she was three years old). Upon arriving in England she learns that things are not what they seem- her life especially.

Her world is turned upside down when she is kidnapped and discovers that she has the ability to shapeshift. Upon being rescued from her kidnappers she befriends the London Institute's Shadowhunters including, but not limited to, Will, Jem, Charlotte, and Henry, alongside the Institute's staff including Thomas, Agatha, and Sophie.

Alongside the British Shadowhunter's Tessa attempts to thwart the Magister, a man hellbent on destroying the Shadowhunters through the use of clockwork creatures.

Best Attributes:

Tessa is by far one of the most genuine and modest female YA characters in my opinion, especially when it comes to her looks:

"Nate, with his fair good looks, was the one in the family generally agreed to have inherited her moth's beauty, but Tessa had always been perfectly content with her own smooth brown hair, and steady gray eyes. Jane Eyre had had brown hair, and plenty of other heroines besides. And it wasn't so bad being tall, either..." (Clockwork Angel, pg. 17).

She is inquisitive and open-minded. She loves to read just as much, if not not, than all of us and she can often be found quoting all of her favourite books:

"He didn't know what books meant to her, that books were symbols of truth and meaning..." (Clockwork Angel, pg. 97).

She is by far one of Cassie's most unique and mysterious characters (In Clockwork Angel we are told that she appears to be a warlock, however her true identity- or a better approximation of her identity- is revealed in Clockwork Prince).

She can outsnark even the snarkiest of characters, Will Herondale included:

"Perhaps she's a girl who's fallen madly in love with me and persists in following me wherever I go."
"My talent is shape-shifting, Will, not acting" (Clockwork Prince, pg. 87).

Speaking of Will Herondale, she has two of the most swoon-worthy YA male characters vying for her attention (and she never lets that knowledge go to her head).

She takes everything in stride. Her clockwork angel pendant is one of the most kick-butt pieces of jewelry in the world of YA books (see Clockwork Prince).

Let's pretend that the Dirty Sexy Balcony Scene is an attribute ;)

What Makes Tessa a True Heroine?

She is genuine and always remains true to her character. She is kind and has a big heart. She's still able to love those who aren't always worthy of being loved.

She is selfless beyond belief- she is willing to do the right thing even if it means hurting herself in the process. For instance, in the case of her brother:

"Nate was not like other people... He had a beautiful innocence about him that had to be protected at all costs. And Tessa had tried. She and her aunt had hidden Nate's own weaknesses from him, the consequences of his own flaws and failings. Never telling him of the work Aunt Harriet had had to do to make up the money he had lost gambling, of the taunts Tessa had endured from other children, calling her brother a drunk, a wastrel. They had hidden these things from him from being hurt" (pg. 352).

She is eager to learn about the new world that she is thrown into. She doesn't jump into things without any thought- she isn't careless, nor is she afraid to ask for help.

Tessa doesn't look down upon anyone (ie. Sophie occupying a lower social status than herself, Jem being ill)- she gives everyone the benefit of the doubt without doing so in a naive way.

Tessa is not dependent upon the males in her life (nor is she careless). She doesn't play on the boy's feelings for her- manipulating them to do what she wants.

Why should YOU Vote for Tessa instead of Clary?

When you boil it down, Tessa and Clary have a lot in common (aside from the fact that the are both characters created by Cassandra Clare). Both were quite literally thrust into their supernatural lives (for both girls much of their earlier lives had been a lie). Both girls excel at some things (Clary is creative beyond belief and is able to use her talents to do what no other Shadowhunter has been able to- create runes, whereas Tessa doesn't jump into anything without giving it a lot of thought and is extremely eager to learn of the world around her), but are flawed at others (Tessa is at times too rigid, by following the rule book to a T, whereas sometimes Clary does things with very little thought). Both girls become stronger- mentally, physically, and emotionally- as the stories in which they are a part of unfold.  When it all comes down to it I believe both girls are the epitome of YA Heroines.

I think that you should vote for the girl who you truly think is worthy of the title- don't let the incentives sway in your decision. If you think that Clary is the stronger heroine, don't vote for Tessa just because you want Cassie to rewrite the Dirty Sexy Bedroom Scene from Jem's POV and vice versa- if you think that Tessa is the stronger female, but you really want to know what Jace was thinking in the greenhouse scene in CoB, don't vote for Clary just for the scene. It's simple- vote for the girl you think is most deserving.

Anything you would like to add?

There are a whole heck of a lot of people I have to thank- Rachel over at Fiktshun for giving me lots of pointers about how the tournament worked, Valerie from Stuck in Books and Amanda from Letters Inside Out for being members of Team Cassie alongside me, @CaitLomas and @chel_c_cam for being amazeballs Tweeters, Cassie Clare herself for being so active in the tournament, and most importantly, the ladies of YA Sisterhood.

I think that in the heat of competition a lot of us (myself included) forget/ don't realize how much time and effort goes into running a tournament such as this- a tournament in which tens of thousands of people participate through voting, a tournament in which there are hundreds upon hundreds of comments to monitor, and a tournament in which there are dozens of advocates to constantly be in touch with. What the YA Sisterhood ladies do is unfathomable and as cheesy as it may sound, they are the true heroines in this tournament.

*Because this final features 2 members of Team Cassie everyone who votes is qualified to enter the Team Cassie Giveaway that Valerie, Amanda, Cassie, and myself created at the beginning of the tournament. To find out all of the giveaway details click HERE.

Vote Tessa: Round Four

About Her:

As many of you probably know by now I am competing in YA Sisterhood's YA Heroine Tournament and I could use YOUR help! I am Tessa's advocate (from Cassie Clare's "Infernal Devices" series) and for the next 24 hours Tessa is going head-to-head with Katniss from Suzanne Collins "The Hunger Games" trilogy. I would appreciate it more than you could imagine if you could head over to YA Sisterhood's blog and vote for TESSA!

About Her:

Tessa Gray, a sixteen year old American is sent to live with her brother in England after her guardian, her Aunt Harriet, passes away (both of Tessa's parents passed away when she was three years old). Upon arriving in England she learns that things are not what they seem- her life especially.

Her world is turned upside down when she is kidnapped and discovers that she has the ability to shapeshift. Upon being rescued from her kidnappers she befriends the London Institute's Shadowhunters including, but not limited to, Will, Jem, Charlotte, and Henry, alongside the Institute's staff including Thomas, Agatha, and Sophie.

Alongside the British Shadowhunter's Tessa attempts to thwart the Magister, a man hellbent on destroying the Shadowhunters through the use of clockwork creatures.  

Best Attributes: 

Tessa is by far one of the most genuine and modest female YA characters in my opinion, especially when it comes to her looks:

"Nate, with his fair good looks, was the one in the family generally agreed to have inherited her moth's beauty, but Tessa had always been perfectly content with her own smooth brown hair, and steady gray eyes. Jane Eyre had had brown hair, and plenty of other heroines besides. And it wasn't so bad being tall, either..." (Clockwork Angel, pg. 17)

She is inquisitive and open-minded. She loves to read just as much, if not not, than all of us and she can often be found quoting all of her favourite books:

"He didn't know what books meant to her, that books were symbols of truth and meaning..." (Clockwork Angel, pg. 97). 

She is by far one of Cassie's most unique and mysterious characters (In Clockwork Angel we are told that she appears to be a warlock, however her true identity- or a better approximation of her identity- is revealed in Clockwork Prince).

She can outsnark even the snarkiest of characters, Will Herondale included:  

"Perhaps she's a girl who's fallen madly in love with me and persists in following me wherever I go." 
"My talent is shape-shifting, Will, not acting" (Clockwork Prince, pg. 87). 

Speaking of Will Herondale, she has two of the most swoon-worthy YA male characters vying for her attention (and she never lets that knowledge go to her head).

She takes everything in stride. Her clockwork angel pendant is one of the most kick-butt pieces of jewelry in the world of YA books (see Clockwork Prince).

Let's pretend that the Dirty Sexy Balcony Scene is an attribute ;)

What Makes Tessa a True Heroine?

She is genuine and always remains true to her character. She is kind and has a big heart. She's still able to love those who aren't always worthy of being loved. 

She is selfless beyond belief- she is willing to do the right thing even if it means hurting herself in the process. For instance, in the case of her brother: 

"Nate was not like other people... He had a beautiful innocence about him that had to be protected at all costs. And Tessa had tried. She and her aunt had hidden Nate's own weaknesses from him, the consequences of his own flaws and failings. Never telling him of the work Aunt Harriet had had to do to make up the money he had lost gambling, of the taunts Tessa had endured from other children, calling her brother a drunk, a wastrel. They had hidden these things from him from being hurt" (pg. 352).

She is eager to learn about the new world that she is thrown into. She doesn't jump into things without any thought- she isn't careless, nor is she afraid to ask for help.

Tessa doesn't look down upon anyone (ie. Sophie occupying a lower social status than herself, Jem being ill)- she gives everyone the benefit of the doubt without doing so in a naive way.

Tessa is not dependent upon the males in her life (nor is she careless). She doesn't play on the boy's feelings for her- manipulating them to do what she wants.

Why should YOU Vote for Tessa instead of Katniss?

While there is no denying that Katniss is physically stronger than Tessa, I think that there is no denying that Tessa is mentally and emotionally stronger than Katniss (though arguably in Clockwork Prince Tessa does start to develop into a physically stronger person due to training, thereby making her an overall strong character/ heroine).

When Katniss is upset by something she has a habit of shutting down, whereas Tessa does not (she isn't afraid to let those around her know exactly what she is thinking/ she isn't afraid to tell it like it is):

"I have dinner that night in my room, ordering an outrageous number of delicacies, eating myself sick, and then taking my anger at the Hunger Games, at every living being in the Capitol by smashing dishes around my room" (The Hunger Games, 118).

"It takes me at least an hour for me to cry myself out. Then I just lie curled up on the bed, stroking the silken sheets, watching the sun set over the artificial candy Capitol" (The Hunger Games, 104).

Tessa doesn't pout when things don't go the way that she wants to, furthermore, she is willing to do what needs to be done without complaint (and she isn't afraid to ask for help), whereas Katniss is oftentimes defiant, unwilling to compromise and, frankly speaking, selfish at times. When Haymitch suggests that Katniss and Peeta pretend to be friends (to gain sympathy/ support from the crowd) she pouts, stalks off to her room and snaps at anyone who gets in her way:

"Don't. Don't let's pretend when there's no one around" (The Hunger Games, 100).

***Contains spoilers from Clockwork Prince***

Also, not only is Tessa willing to put herself at risk for the greater good (see Chapter 16 of Clockwork Prince entitled "Mortal Rage"), but she is also willing to sacrifice the things that she holds dearest to her for the greater good, specifically her brother:

"My brother," Tessa said in a barely controlled voice, is a lying murderer, incapable of feeling. He may have married you, Jessamine, but he does not love you... He will abandon you, if he does not kill you first."
"Liar!" Jessamine screamed, "You don't understand him. You never did! His soul is pure and fine-"
"Pure as ditch water," Tessa said. "I understand him better than you do; you are blinded by his charm. He cares nothing for you" (Clockwork Prince, 307).

I suppose it it up to you to decide- what makes a true heroine? A person who is physically stronger or a person who is emotionally/ mentally stronger?

Anything You'd Like to Add? 

For those who vote for Tessa (or any member of Team Cassie- Clary, Tessa, or Izzy) Letters Inside Out, Stuck in Books, and myself (the girl's advocates) have prizes for you (includes a copy of CP, winner's choice of CC book, a Hebel Design bookmark and a CA angel pendant)! Find out all of the details HERE!

Furthermore, Cassie has stated that if Tessa were to win the tournament that she would rewrite the a scene from Clockwork Prince (as of right now the Dirty Sexy Bedroom Scene in Jem's POV is in the lead). Let me tell you... THIS IS SUCH AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY! By now we are all quite familiar with Jace's feelings for Clary (Cassie has also stated that if Clary were to win the tournament that she would rewrite the greenhouse scene from City of Bones from Jace's POV) due to there being 4 Mortal Instruments books already out and Cassie having previously rewritten scenes from her MI series in Jace's POV- whereas we do not know exactly what Jem's feelings for Tessa are, with him being a quite enigmatic and quiet character. So if you would like to see an entirely different side of a character we have all grown to love, I suggest that you vote for Tessa!

Excerpt of "Silent Tears" by Kay Bratt

From Goodreads: "An American volunteer in a Chinese orphanage learns to pull from the hidden strength within her to improve conditions for the children. If you have ever wondered what day to day life is like in a Chinese orphanage, this will tell it. If you have ever wondered what it is like to love a child so deeply, even though they aren't yours, this will tell it. If you have ever wondered what it would be like to move to a third-world country, this will tell it."

Yoli and I entered the baby room this morning at nine and the first thing I noticed was the lack of ayis. Usually at this time there are two or three of them sitting around the TV watching their soap operas while supposedly paying attention to the babies. Today there was only one. I gave her the supplies I had brought for today―baby soap, powder, and wipes―and entered the other half of the room to see my babies.

The room had a stifling, pervasive odor of urine and sweat, a combination I haven’t yet adjusted to. I told myself it didn’t matter and tried to put it out of my mind, but couldn’t shut it out. Some of the babies were mewling loudly; others were quiet and motionless. I walked through the middle rows and worked my way down one aisle, adjusting the babies while talking to them softly. Many had legs or feet caught up in the metal sides of their cribs, causing them distress.

Most had heat rashes from the soaring temperatures and lack of air flowing. When their shirts ride up, their already irritated skin rubs against the straw mats they are lying on, adding to their misery. I continued down the aisle, releasing feet and straightening shirts as I went.

A baby girl covered to the neck with a towel instead of the usual sheet caught my eye. Most of the babies were sick today, many with fever, runny noses, and coughs. This baby looked as though she had cried herself into exhaustion, but her eyes were open. Bending down to speak to her, I noticed her eyes were not following me. I looked closer and saw that her eyes had a white film over them, nearly opaque so I could hardly see her pupils. The towel was not moving up and down over her tiny chest and she wasn’t blinking. My mind reeled as the thought struck me, “Oh my God, she is dead.”

I could scarcely believe what I’d found. My heart plummeted and for a moment seemed to stop. I shuddered and involuntarily recoiled from the crib. By this time a few more workers had arrived; I called one over while pointing to the baby. She peered into the cot, and beckoned a few other staff workers to come look. Nonchalantly, they sauntered over and one of them shoved the crib roughly into the wall, trying to make the baby move. The child’s body rocked violently from the force of the shove.

As I watched in horror, the worker repeated her rough action, and then said something to another worker, obviously confirming that the baby was dead. They didn’t touch her in any way or listen for breathing. Making no attempts at resuscitation, they dismissed her and walked off to continue their interrupted conversation.

I backed away, struck forcefully by their indifference. I was in double shock because of the dead child herself, and then because of her unemotional treatment by the workers. I tried to compose myself, still feeling faint as I watched the workers chatting together, laughing, and acting quite plainly as if the little girl’s life meant nothing to them. I realized I wasn’t inhaling and took a sobbing breath, but it didn’t calm me. The tears broke free of my eyes as I contemplated what a brief and tragic life this baby had lived.

One of the ayis left the room, and a few minutes later, a nurse came to check the baby with a stethoscope. When she heard nothing, she covered the baby’s face with the towel and walked from the room. Alone with the little girl, I returned to her side and thought to myself, “Say a prayer, just for her,” but it took some time for me to gather the words. Finally, I asked God to take her in His arms and comfort her.

While standing there crying, I saw Yoli on the other side of the room―with the toddlers and unaware of what had happened. I drew her near and told her one of the babies had died; she didn’t handle the news well, becoming agitated and upset. She wouldn’t go near the baby; instead, from across the room she gaped at the cradle, wide-eyed.

An old Chinese man with a significant stoop entered the room. Although I’ve been working here for weeks, I’d never seen him before. He was small in stature and his face held lines of wisdom, or perhaps sadness. He approached the little girl’s body, slowly removed the towel, and asked a worker to provide a pair of pants for her. He gently dressed her and placed a sheet on the floor. Picking her out of the cradle, he ever so softly laid her on the sheet. Bundling her neatly, he lifted her small body close to him and took her from the room.

He didn’t make eye contact with me, but I know he was aware I was watching. For my own sanity, I forced myself not to think about what would happen to her next.

Eventually, one of the ayis who had been laughing and chatting minutes before came and brusquely removed the baby’s straw mat and towel―her scant comfort. Outwardly, the ayi showed no compassion whatsoever for this child who had been in the care of the orphanage for such a short time. I wanted to believe she would make time for that later, as I know that Chinese people carefully guard their feelings.

I wished to leave immediately so I could openly cry, but knew many of the babies were terribly sick and needed me. Somehow, I kept going; I took temperatures, fed rice, gave bottles, and dressed their little bodies after their baths. Mechanically I followed all instructions, washed up, and started down the stairs.

In my distracted state of mind, I had forgotten Yoli and had to return for her. I found her, helped her gather her things, and we both left.

I waited in the car while she went to the office to drop off papers. As soon as the car door closed, I dialed Ben’s mobile. When I heard his familiar, comforting voice, I lost all composure and the dam burst wide open. I’m sure my driver was wondering what could possibly be so wrong, but he chose to ignore my tears and histrionic ranting on the phone. Ben assured me that he was leaving work early and would be home as soon as possible.

When Yoli returned to the car, her amiable, easygoing nature had returned. She looked at my tears and said, “Cheer up.” Stunned at her ability to switch between emotions so quickly, I couldn’t answer her and turned the other way to stare out the window.

Arriving home, I went directly upstairs to shower. Surrounded by the heat and soothing rush of the water, I scrubbed until it ran cold.

Sitting here now, I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. I can’t stop thinking about her. Shouldn’t I be part of a grieving process or a funeral? There has to be something to mark this child’s passing.

I’m going to make Amanda some lunch and afterward I think I will sleep for a while, if I can. I keep seeing the look on that little girl’s face, with her milky, lifeless eyes wide open and her arms outstretched stiffly. She was only about five months old and so very tiny and helpless.

I can see now why previous volunteers stay with the orphanage for only a short time and never return, but I will continue to go until they say I can’t any longer. I know the ayis resent my presence. Even if I can’t understand their words, I can see the animosity and disapproval in their expressions and feel the friction crackling in the air. I don’t care. I will bear the feelings of not being wanted by the staff. I will not give up on these children.

About the author:

Kay Bratt grew up in the Midwest as the child of a broken home and later, a survivor of abuse. Facing these obstacles in her own life instilled in Kay a passionate drive to fight for those that had been dealt an unfair hand. Upon arriving in China on an expatriate assignment with her husband in 2003, she was immediately drawn to the cause of China’s forgotten orphans. Moved beyond tears by the stories of these children, she promised to give them the voice they did not have. In 2008, she self-published her memoir Silent Tears: A Journey of Hope in a Chinese Orphanage to do just that. With the help of her readers, Kay continues to raise awareness and advocate for at-risk children. In China, she was honored with the 2006 Pride of the City award for her humanitarian work. She is the found of the Mifan Mommy Club, an online organization which provides rice for children in China’s orphanages, and is also an active volunteer for Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) for abused and neglected children. Kay currently resides in Georgia with her husband and daughter.(Source: http://kaybratt.com/biography/).